*WHY I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
This week: Killface*
Continuing our series interviewing figures from the past, present, future and imaginary worlds and asking them why they want(ed) to take over the world (previous interviewees include Adolf Hitler, Brain from Pinky and the Brain, General Zod from Superman 2, Avian flu and a couple of Bond megalomaniacs), we talk to Adult Swim’s arch-villain Killface.
Let’s get straight to the point. Why do you want to take over the world?
No wonder your planet’s in the pitiful state it is. I almost feel as if I’m doing your sorry race a favour.
Doesn’t anybody do any research on this pathetic little periodical?
You’ve lost me.
I can see that. I don’t want to take over the world you annoying man; I want to — and will — destroy the world.
Using my Annihilatrix I’m going to propel the Earth into the sun, thereby precipitating a very personal Armageddon.
Very Bruce Willis. That sounds expensive.
[shifts in seat] It is. Extremely.
So, coast or countryside?
Would you rather live in the country or by the sea?
Given the magnitude of my undertaking I’d say that that question was a little redundant, perhaps even ironic, wouldn’t you agree?
Pub or restaurant?
Posh or Cheryl?
You’re starting to annoy me now, and that’s not something I’d recommend.
Ok, back to the Annihilatron.
So, when is this destruction of the planet going to take place?
What’s the hold up?
We have a few (pause) financial matters to iron out, and then it’ll be full steam ahead.
What with the credit crunch, budget cuts etc., there’s probably never been a worse time to be a super-villain with a heinous plan to destroy the world?
True. I shall not be swayed from my chosen path though.
Good for you. So, have you ever destroyed anything as big as the Earth before?
What did you do before you took up planet annihilation?
Are you trying to be funny?
Because if I decide that you are then that will be the last sarcastic utterance to ever leave your mouth.
I’m sensing some anger management issues here.
And I’m sensing some extreme heat issues for you and the rest of your pathetic kin in the very near future.
What’s your greatest ambition?
To never have to sit through an interview as pointless as this one again.
One last question?
It had better be relevant.
Describe yourself in three words.
Shut your face.
Season One of Frisky Dingo is out now on [adult swim] DVD – see here